Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize