did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
Four minutes until I can fart!
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
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