if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Randomize
