So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
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