new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
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