i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
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