Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
Randomize
