They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
This is my gift to your gina
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Randomize
