Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
