Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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