But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Randomize
