apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Randomize
