remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
