but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Randomize
