I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
I'm eating all of the evidence.
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Randomize
