i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
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