So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
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