After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
soo... how was my night?
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Randomize
