He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
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