Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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