If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
