Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
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