I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
Randomize
