last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
