She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
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