the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Randomize
