so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
