He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
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