Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Randomize
