He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Randomize
