Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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