glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
