ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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