Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
id be glad to
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Randomize
