Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
We had to coat check the pizza.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Randomize
