I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Randomize
