yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
