absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Randomize
