they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
