Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Randomize
