If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
not ubering you a puppy
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Randomize
