when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
I am spending my child support on dildos
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
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