You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
