I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize
