it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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