We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
He passed out mid-signature
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
