u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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