I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Randomize