i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
A+ Viking dick
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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