Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
