those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
