your parents love me but you hate me
Don't you send me to vm
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
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