she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
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