you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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