D3 body, D1 cock
It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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