There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
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