i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
