the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Randomize