my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
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