Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize
